If one more person asks me how the hell im doing I think im going to finally snap

Lets just imagine for a minute what the world would be like if I wasn't here. I'm not sitting over here gloating, I'm just trying to get a good firm picture so that maybe I can justify suffering through the next year and a half until I leave this hell hole that is unfortunately my home. So for my depleting sanity can we please just come up with even 1 good reason why I should go through it anymore?
My brother threatens me and without notice or reason beat me up (Ive come close to several concussions), my mother hates me (and as a matter of face not 5 minutes ago just screamed it at me, along with the threats of calling the cops), my fathers cheating on my mom again and I seem the be the only one phased by it. School is falling apart. I haven't been able to sit through an entire class for weeks. My Grandaddy mistakes me for my 4 year old ASIAN cousin! My Grandaddy is going to die soon, like hospice soon. Ive been on a slippery slope with my religion. Yearbook is becoming more and more of a burden instead of a fun activity. I am a teenager who is running the financial aspect of a business. Who the hecks idea was it to give me 50,000 and give me no instructions on what the hell to do with it.
I'm sitting here, trying to think of maybe someone, any one's life Ive affected so that maybe I wont feel so worthless. I'm slipping back into what feels like my deep dark depression, I do nothing but cry, sleep and the only thing Ive eaten in days is grapefruit and tea. I cant be left alone anymore because I passed out from hyperventilating the other day.

Because, in all honesty, if this is what my life is, then why do I even try. Is it worth it? Has my 17 years here been any good to anyone?

My battery is running on empty and I don't know where to turn. So tonight I will forget my ideas of baking gingerbread, I will lay in bed, stair at the ceiling, and cry.

Can someone just wake me up when December ends?