Drive with Caution

So I mentioned briefly that my meds have been changed. Its not usually a big thing but this time one of my benzos is being taken away, it was a fairly low dose and its been replaced with another one and yea Ive been through med with drawl like 25 times in my life. Even been through the worst one to get off of, effexor... ughhhh. So I had to just cut this one ( adivan ) cold turkey and it takes a little while for me to notice so its been 24 hours and ive already had a few doses of the new one tranxene. Ive heard its a good med but all it makes me do is sleep. No joke I have never fallen asleep in class before but today I fell asleep in each and every single class I had, and for lunch I sat in a chair, curled up in a ball, covered myself with my jacket and slept for 40 minutes until my next class. I wanted to be awake more than anything but I have to wait this med out a week before my psych md will change anything.

Either way I thought that I should tell a few of my teachers whats going on so they don't think I'm just slacking off or anything, I mean I have a medical reason I mean heck its written on the side of the bottle to be warned of this ( safety while driving heavy machinery) so I told my 1st pd teacher this and she shrugged at me and said that she didn't care what was happening as long as I did my work. Real compassion in that one Hun? I didn't want to tell my next 2 teachers in anticipation of the same response, however when i told her she didn't give the apathetic response I had been getting but she truly cared. See she has been struggling with depression ( as am I ) for several years and she is the sweetest outspoken loud perky person i have ever met and honestly it was mind boggling to hear her say that she was suffering with it. I love that woman, shes a fantastic teacher and now I feel like I have someone who actually gets it. Someone who may of had the worst night in history but still drags themselves out of bed, gets dressed pops their daily pills and drags themselves out the door. All the car ride putting their cement smile on for the day and telling themselves that no matter how you feel you will laugh and be goofy and have fun today and then as soon as you go home you can lay in bed all afternoon and fall asleep and repeat the whole thing again and again and again and again. Someone who will be there for me ( now dint get me wrong I have my best friend who truly understands this and helps me out at moment's notice ) But finally someone who knows first hand what its like.

Therapists may try to understand but its one thing to study a behavior and read about it in a book and a completely different thing to have to deal with it on a every day basis.