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Hi! I'm Kathryn and in all honesty I really have no idea what I'm doing seeing as Ive never blogged before, but life is a learning process so I figured that I would give this a shot.

I live in what I refer to as bipolar-land. Bipolar is now a widely known mental disease that is often compared to a roller coaster ride. There are several types of bipolar and no one has any idea why some people get it and others don't or why some people display it in certain ways and others seem to live a 'normal' life and no one would ever guess they have any problems.

I live in my small family of four where 50% of us are bipolar. My mother and my younger brother are both suffering from Type 2 Rapid Cycling bipolar. And unless you are someone who is super familiar with the disease then this probably doesn't mean much to you so let me try and explain. Bipolar ii people are typically aware that something is wrong with them although when they are going through a manic phase or depressed phase (or one of the many other phases) sometimes they are don't see their behavior as abnormal. However others who know the individual well may see the behaviors as out of the ordinary. Bipolar ii people are typically hospitalized at one point or another in their lifetime. They are also typically medicine dependant. Now the rapid cycling part is a totally different thing. A cycle refers to the entire circle of phases that take place before they repeat. So for instance in my family the typical cycle is: hypomanic, manic, mixed episode, apathetic, full blown depression, and finally normal then it all repeats. Now in order to be classified as 'rapid cycling' one must go through at least 4 cycles in a 12 month period. In my family people cycle about every month so its a tad extreme but not unheard of. Now some people only cycle once in their lifetime and some cycle more than that it all varies from person to person.

No one really knows why people get this disease or why all of the sudden some medicines stop working or why the typical medicine, lithium, seems to help so much. I would of never thought that taking a little pill made of a metal would do anything productive. But heck it helps them so I don't complain.

But this is more for the people who deal with bipolar people. Its one thing to be bipolar and I would be 100% wrong if i said that I understood even a little bit of what its like to be bipolar. But I do understand what its like to live in a home where you never know what its going to be like when you open the front door. Where its not abnormal to have conversations about your family members with their psychologist. (or the fact that you actually have a family psychologist) Where you know that when they scream that they wish you would just go die, its not them, its the disease. Where sometimes it gets violent in the house and its not abnormal to have knives pulled on people.

But its life, its my life and its crazy ( literary ha ha) and no its not the typical family life but ya know? It has its good days and those good days are are what keep me going.